A Sticky Situation
Once upon a time, many moons ago (if you look at the header, January), I was trying to flirt with a girl who worked at pageaday.com doing email support.
At this point in the year, namely the first week, anyone who bought a page-a-day calendar who didn’t have the technical ability to operate a toaster ran into a wee bit of difficulty getting the online component of their calendar to work.
The problems were normally password resets, or very simple, very mundane issues. Hundreds and hundreds of the same boring problems.
So I decided to liven things up a bit.
| From: | mjdillon |
| Subject: | A Sticky Situation |
| Date: | Thu, January 3, 2008 1:23 pm |
| To: | team@pageaday.com |
Dear Page-A-Day, At the beginning of this week, I noticed that my Page-A-Day "365 Days of Duct Tape 2007" calendar had run out of pages. Since I purchased this on February 16th of 2007, I was only able to properly enjoy 318 days of witty adhesive commentary. It is marked clearly on the outside packaging that I should expect a full 365 days of duct tape commentary. Who do I need to speak to in order to access pageaday.com for 47 days in 2008 so that I may actually enjoy all of the tips, tricks, and jokes to which I am entitled? I am a very reasonable man, and I am willing to accept the fact that I waited 3 days to bring this sticky situation to your attention. I don’t feel that these days need to be replaced, merely the entire situation patched. Thank You, Mike Dillon |
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Now. I dutifully waited for this girl to send me a message noticing my attempt at humor. This was not to happen. Instead I received the following reply:
| From: | “Rachael” <workman.com> |
| Subject: | Re: A Sticky Situation |
| Date: | Fri, January 4, 2008 4:45 pm |
| To: | mjdillon |
Please call Rachael @ 1-800-722-7202 in customer service. Thank you. |
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Which would have been all well and good, however Rachel was the wrong girl.
Obviously I didn’t want to actually make that call, but I did have the deep desire to turn the insane in my reply all the way up to 11. There was only one way to answer:
| From: | mjdillon |
| Subject: | Re: A Sticky Situation |
| Date: | Mon, January 7, 2008 11:27 pm |
| To: | “Rachael” <workman.com> |
Dear Rachel, Unfortunately, I enhanced my phone with a duct tape shell in mid April of last year. The doctors say that if I am attached to the idea of growing hair on the side of my head, I need to discontinue my use of it. I hope you understand that I am unable to call you because of this. In a fortuitous coincidence, I recently discovered that my neighbor purchased this year's calendar after bonding with some of my creations over the last few months. He has promised to slip me the day-old pages as the year unrolls. In my eyes, all is well. I hope you have a Happy New Year. All the best, Mike Dillon |
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June 13th, 2008 at 5:29 am
[…] I happened to be wandering around the basement of the Strand a few weeks ago, and found a copy of Memos From the Chairman, a collection of memos written by Ace Greenberg, during his tenure as Bear Stearn’s CEO, which was later collected and published by the same people that do the page-a-day calendars. […]